1. BE REAL
"it’s better to just be yourself than let anyone else influence you into being someone you are not."
2. BE HONEST
"Keep your promises; do what you say you are going to do, and most importantly — don’t lie!"
* If you do lie then confront and be honest with your friend and tell them how you feel, Remember that LIES cant always be HIDDEN or FORGOTTEN they would always be reveal in one way or another
3. BE LOYAL
"If your friend tells you something in confidence, don’t talk about it to anyone else.Don’t discuss your friend behind his/her back except when it involves the other person, and you won’t just make it worse. Nobody likes a gossip or backstabber. Never say anything about your friend that you would not really want to repeat face to face. Don’t let others say bad things about your friend until you’ve had a chance to hear your friend’s side of the story."
* In other words to be loyal to your friend you need to believe in them and dont let people influence you into thinking that your friend is a bitch when you haven't heard their side of the story yet
4. BE RESPECTFUL
* Hmmm this one is hard to discuss since sometimes you have to disrespect your friend in order to push them over their limit to overcome their problems, but dont abuse this right that you can manipulate
5. WATCH OUT FOR YOUR FRIEND
6. PITCH IN FOR FRIENDS DURING TIMES OF CRISIS
"Care about your friend enough to help him or her open up and let the tears roll. Give a tissue and listen. Really listen openly. You don’t have to say anything, just don’t be too upset by hearing sadness or anger, or deep grief. Stay calm and reassuring."
* Yes to be there for your friend, be strong for them and guide them out of the darkness. NEVER GIVE UP even when they push you away because deep down we all know that pushing away your friends is the last thing in your heart that you want your friends to believe in but they want you by their side instead
7. IF YOUR FRIEND IS GOING THROUGH A CRISIS- DONT SAY "EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY"
"It’s hard not to say that sometimes, but false reassurance can often be worse than none, and it may undermine your friend’s ability to get through the crisis as well as one might. Instead, tell your friend that “Whatever you decide or need, I am there for you.” If the need is to talk: talk; if it’s to sit quietly: sit there. If the need is to relax and get your minds off of things, offer to take in a movie or concert “together.” Give a sincere hug, if you are friends — not strangers, after all. Stay honest, but upbeat and positive."
* Yes this is very true as I have learnt that long ago because reality sometimes kick in and we all know that everything is not going to be okay so I normally say the line "here for you forever and always" hmmm i should work on the hugs though :P
8. GIVE ADVICE, ADD PERSPECTIVE
"Don’t judge your friend, but do advise to stay out of dangerous situations where one may harm oneself or others. Tell him/her how you perceive his/her situation, and what you might do in the same circumstances. Don’t be offended by one listening to your advice and then deciding to ignore it. Your friend must make his or her own decisions. Avoid saying “You should…”. That may feel like you are imposing “should” upon your friend."
* I agree with the should part, as friends it depends on the situation.. I will give advice and I they dont listen then I have played my part in terms of personal relationships I would just let a friend be if they feel happy but in terms of eg drugs or smoking I
would be soo soo naggy until they quit
9. GIVE YOUR FRIEND SPACE
"Understand if he/she wants to be alone or hang out with other people. Allow it to happen. There’s no need to become clingy or needy. Friendship doesn’t require that you always have to be paired together. Allowing one another the time to hang with other friends gives you much-needed breathing room, and allows you to come together fresh and appreciating each other even more."
* The thing about this is that people misunderstand this concept, give your friend space. People sometimes use it as an excuse to run away and isolate themselves or sometimes when friends does tehey may think that we dont care for themm when in fact we do... life is complicated... friends is as complicated as family
10. NEVER MAKE A PROMISE YOU KNOW YOU CANT KEEP
"Good friendship is based on trust – if you break a friend’s trust, the friendship may be very hard to salvage. Of course, if you have made a promise and planned to keep it, but circumstances beyond your control conspire to prevent it, let your friend know as soon as you find out. Don’t wait until 15 minutes after you were supposed to arrive to call and say, “gee, I’m sorry.” Instead, a quick call to say, “Hey, I know I promised to help you with whatever it is, but my mom is telling me we are going to my aunt’s for the weekend, and leaving tomorrow just after school – that means I won’t be able to make it. I’m so sorry. Can we reschedule?” That’s just honoring the fact that your friend is counting on you, and respecting the fact that, given a little notice, your friend might just be able to get someone else to help with whatever it was – or not, whatever."
* So the example was a really light promise but a life goes on I learnt the meaning of promises and I now think alot on promises and whether or not I can keep them, in which im hopefully am... sometimes I forget and sometimes can break them but Im trying much harder now ... I just keep everything in my heart even when i want the tell the other party/ies so much. I cant. because promises are something that builds a strong bond and trust between friends
11. LISTEN
12. DONT BE SELFISH
" Grabbing, stealing, envying and/or begging are big Nos in the rules of friendship. The friend will soon get tired of this and eventually move towards more self-less people who are willing to give the same as one gets, but a good friend will not demand it, yet one might mention being tired of it. Even if you are a total wreck — don’t expect constant sympathy."
* hmmm this can be misunderstood by alot of people as well. Selfish can be conquered if you put your mind to it. By making excuses and blaming oneself for one's selfish acts will not make any improvements in a relationship. (sigh) just that alot of people still cant apply this knowledge and beautify their stubbornness and pride.. (sigh) is pride that powerful to make someone so blind?
13. SHARE
"As before, if you have a selfless friend, that always expects something back; try to accommodate. That’s if one doesn’t make it too obvious, like begging or envying. This does not mean giving large or expensive presents. This can just mean being there when you are needed. If you already gave a lot of your time, then that gift is probably in appreciation for that… and so, don’t feel obligated to make an equal gift in that kind of case. Just say thanks, “That’s nice.” No gift would be expected that way."
* ummhmm thats the beauty of friends
14. DONT EXPECT
"demand or abuse generosity or “wear out your welcome.” When your friend does something nice for you, then reciprocate quickly. Money isn’t, or doesn’t have to be, an issue."
15. LIVE BY THE GOLDEN RULE
"Always treat a friend as you would want to be treated. If you don’t — there will be repercussions. Don’t do or say anything that you wouldn’t want done to you. Be there through thick and thin as long as that is how you feel as a true friend. Don’t begrudge everything as a favor that has to be repaid immediately."
16. APOLOGIZE AND FORGIVE
* But friends must work together in order to achieve forgiveness, by simply saying sorry witout knowing what you do wrong just doesnt work. By saying sorry wouldnt solve a problem. By saying sorry just shows that you had felt pressured to say it. A sincere sorry is when you and a friend are able to communicate and understand each other, solve a problem and apologize for your mistakes and work towards rebuilding the friendship again. This involves communication no matter how hard it is. If you are to afraid to communicate and is waiting for the other party to make a move then just forget it, it shows that you dont want to mend the friendship because if fear can overpower your actions in mending a misunderstanding, then (sigh) you are not trying hard enough.
